I am normally meek as a metaphorical mouse when it comes to issues that concern religion; even if it is just a speck of religious ketchup on the napkin of the issue. Of course it is not to say that when the rest of the guests have left I don’t use it to wipe crumbs from around my lips and my sweat and behind the ears – I just don’t really express any view that has a hint of bias, preferring to leave them as bland as bad margarine.

However, there is only so much catharsis that can be derived from furious thought while brushing one’s teeth or empty moments on the bus, especially times when things have come to a head. Petty as we are, arguments often erupt over the tiniest and most ridiculous things, like drains or parking spaces, instead of the much more honourable but equally petty matters that the noble Europeans quarrel about and challenge each other to chainsaw duels. On an average day such disputes bring about a rather macabre form of amusement as we read about the various attacks launched by the respective parties, riding on their flaming stallions of superglue and dog afterbirth, babbling indecipherably about non-existent riches and very sharp knives. Then we’d go home and shake our heads resignedly about ‘the ugly citizen’.

Nothing fires up little things like religion being dragged into it, like slipping hot sauce into an unsuspecting colleague’s coffee mug. Had that church in S-- been nothing more than a childcare centre or elderly karaoke session, an equal amount of mad raving by an irate resident would not have warranted a newspaper appearance and letters to the forums. Such constant parking mayhem never raises more than just a few eyebrows for things like schools situated near landed residential estates, speaking from experience. Everyone just gets a little annoyed, raises a little temper, and then rush their children home. In fact, multiply that by five times a week and you get an even more appalling problem overall. Religion aside, this was hardly an issue.

But now some poor, two-storey terrace house dwelling man is facing years in jail for (undoubtedly rashly and foolishly) expressing his ire at inconsiderate people blocking his gate with their cars, shining brightly under a Sunday sun. This sounds a little sympathetic on my part for this undeniably callous lunatic, which can only attract righteous indignation for my part. As I said, if you strip the religious aspect away and get a man demanding action from a bunch of incontinent, befuddled old people halfway through Unchained Melody to move their cars, you might end up with some sitcom fodder and maybe a civil suit, not some man with a family who might go to prison soon and crap in a hole.

Deliberations on the inconsiderate behaviour of these gate-blocking, sidewalk-parking church-goers abound, ending up with most of the congregation dismissing them as black sheep and shaking their heads resignedly. They jeered at the man as being “insensitive” because it’s not really your grandfather’s road. After all, car parking is just such a miniscule affair compared to not burning for all eternity in hell. It would be okay if this had not been going on for TWENTY YEARS with residents putting up with such nonsense for so long. Not to say that they are all nasty, horrific trolls roaring at innocent car-parkers, chilling their souls to the core, but orderly, non-obstrusive parking, while mildly agitating, still allows for the continued normal function of roads and vehicles. Once again, the self-proclaimed moderate local newspaper tries to put down the righteous, non deity-backed anger of the residents down to the few black sheep of those who recently moved in. I rarely burn like so; must be that hot sauce again.

Because it seems the right time to do so, I attempted to look for some quotes from many people’s favourite book to justify the need to be considerate even without being told to under duress. “Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good…to be peaceable and considerate…” (Titus 3:1,2) and of course another one much favoured even by the secular "Do unto others as you would have them do to you". (Luke 6:31) that seem to explain themselves perfectly fine. I was also looking for quotes about telling other people like your fellow church-goers not to be inconsiderate (part of not being a bad person, though I suppose that also works out if you aren’t homosexual etc.) but my lack of familiarity meant that this could only be backed up as an impression gleaned from the many many things that my devoutly Christian grandmother tells me. Um, yeah, but they didn’t, like, have cars in about 75 AD did they. Religious or not, you would think the least that someone could do was not be an asshole about the car parking so it’s not really about the religion here (just that many other people are considerate because their parents taught them to or because they think it’s right). Also, whatever happened to weeding out the black sheep who reflect badly on the whole flock (there is some quote about this to, I remember).

It all seems terribly unfair from my side of things, my dark corner of the ring where flames and brimstone are all ready to consume, that there should be provisions in the Penal Code for the protection of religious ceremonies and the like. Fair enough that you don’t want solemn things like sermons to be despoiled by infidel clown-suited shrimp-eating (Deuteronomy 14:10) homosexual men. But the decades of a multi-religious society means that religion has to be carefully regulated, segregated, and protected, because people take their religion seriously. A commendable job has been done about this, though one dreads to think what it would be if that man had been of another, more controversial religion (he was a free-thinker). I think he would have been much better off too (not facing charges and this being explained away), because realistically, you don’t want to turn this into another 21 July 1964 NEVAR FORGET. But because he’s some godless heathen it’s okay because all he really wants to do is to destroy our precious way of life by hurting the religious feelings of others (!). There are some black sheep (who cannot be taken into hand) who use religion only as a shield/excuse, and they are of course also spurned by the more serious practitioners. Such “internal” problems are of course left alone, because the police can’t earnestly investigate allegations of somebody using religion as a crutch for the conscience. The man got the thick end of the stick because he was a free-thinker, who have no such legal protection for their “beliefs”. If someone were to question a theistic person about his faith and blaspheme his deity/deities/other beliefs there would be reason to conclude under this law that he was hurting his religious feelings. But throw that into reverse gear (evangelism) and the police would probably laugh you off for being stupid. Seems you can’t take your atheism seriously, because it’s not a religion even though one can derive spirituality and satisfaction and similar warm, comforting sentiments from having a solid grounding/philosophy. In fact, why not outlaw spreading atheistic propaganda because it will destroy our religious harmony? (You can’t outlaw atheism because it would be a shocking 1984-esque thought police action)

Now I do feel much better after that tirade which means I might have left in serious logical flaws/sensitivity landmines, which I might not be so apologetic for this time, because, hey, I have no religious feelings to hurt, do I.

(Atheist)