Left Out

13 August (odd how so many people have adopted the American style of writing dates just because of September 11 drilling it into their heads; there it goes again – it must be the only date ever to recognised as a noun in common – very common – usage) being Alfred Hitchcock's birthday (and hence the commencement of his magnificent creation) and World Left-Handedness day, seems like a day rich with portentous overtones and webs of conspiracy (probably the only reason why Hitchcock was roped in here, or it might just be a coincidence – a sinister coincidence). Indeed, the left has always been regarded with suspicion, as ominous, foreboding, something abnormal, running contrary to mainstream thoughts and habits. Centuries ago, the Catholic Church denounced left-handed people as servants of the devil, the phrase "Let thy left hand know not what thy right hand doest," (Matthew 6:3)(I hope I did this correctly - somehow invoking religion is a fine way of getting one's point across succinctly – at least there are less people who would argue with that), and even in the present day, alienation of the "left" still exists, for example the Muslim belief that the left hand is unclean, and in a more stylistic sense, some discrimination against the political "left".

But it is not without truth. In fact, you could say that, in an enlightened age of political correctness (if that could be said to be enlightened) left-handedness is the only genetic "defect" that people possess (if it is possible to possess a defect) , so to speak, that is still being discriminated against. Not actively of course, but perhaps on the basis that one cannot hide one's handedness like other genetic diseases, and in a world built for the right handed (it is not immediately obvious to the right-handed (even the words themselves try to show the correctness/superiority of those who use their right hands) but the smallest of construction details can irk the left-handed) the left-handed quickly find themselves wrong-footed (or wrong-handed, just that such an expression doesn't exist) in their actions. It seems like an anachronistic form of colonialism then, for the minority (and hence the weaker, the "conquered") to have to adapt to the ways of their "masters", the right-handers. Such a conception has been turned on its head however, as I let loose a little yelp upon seeing our new PM easing himself into the seat of power with his left hand.

So as it is with tokenism towards the oppressed, there has to be some day which is their day in the sun, for them to feel pride that will melt away months of injustice, for the left-handed to celebrate the uniqueness that is left-handedness. Sure, you have many celebrities and notable figures who are and were left-handed, for example Leonardo Da Vinci or Winston Churchill, who are all the more celebrated for overcoming that bias against the left-handed to stand on par, if not above, their middling, right-handed counterparts. Spare a thought for the left-handed - empathise like one would empathise with the homeless, or less privileged, by maybe switching your mouse over to the left side to feel the awkwardness, because they too, have suffered (not to say in the same way, or to the same degree, as say Jews or the poor, of course), but you never know if they have a conspiracy afoot, since they are all smarter than us 'righties' anyways (or so they say).